How to Get Over Him and Move On (4)

Here goes the other three practical steps I promised you:

1.    Find something to do. Be active.

If you sit in your room all day, you will mope and be depressed. I know it is very hard to even drag yourself to the bathroom to take a shower. But fight it. I signed up at the gym the next day. In my case, I already wanted to lose weight and had planned to begin working out as soon as I could pay for the gym. So, it was more like killing several birds with a stone.

Find what makes you happy. I love movies so I binge watched Netflix for a while. But I realised I was watching too many romcoms which landed me in tears each time. So I deleted my Netflix.

Writing makes me happy but for a long time I never made time for it. This was a good time to get back to it. 

What do you enjoy doing? Is it reading, or listening to music and dancing, painting, drawing, sewing, cooking, baking, gardening? Whatever it is, just get to it.

If you lost yourself in the past and don’t know what you enjoy doing you can experiment with any of the things listed above. As a woman, God created you with so much love and softness in you. You are made to be pouring out this essence into the world. So channel the love into something productive.

You may not get it right at the beginning and it will be frustrating because you may feel like you failed at a relationship and so you are not good at anything. That is a phenomenal lie from Satan. Do not fall for it!

My other blogsites before this one you are reading never saw the light of day. But I was determined to do things differently in my life and come out of this season a much better version of myself. You can do it too.

2.    Take care of yourself.

Eat! Personally, no heart break will make me starve. You will find me crying and still devouring my banku and tilapia, or spaghetti bolognese. Sometimes the crying stops when I am eating, and I resume crying after the food finishes. Your tears will not finish but the food in your house can finish, so eat!

Dear girl, no man deserves your stomach. You don’t even always fast when a church fast is declared but you want to fast over a man. Sigh. Don't be silly! Be kind to yourself, okay. Eat!

Drink a lot of water. Get a manicure and pedicure. It is called a ‘cure’ for a reason. Get your hair done. Maintain whatever beauty/skincare regime you have or switch it up.

“Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you.”

Do not lose yourself physically. You may be dying inside, but let your temple reflect beauty. You need to put in this effort because a sad and broken soul reflects so strongly on the outside.

“A merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”

Just like you have an aura around you when your heart is merry, and it makes people want to get close to you, your body shows it too when you are sad.

So, you must make the extra effort to keep looking like the princess that you are. People will still notice something off with you, but it will be worse if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

 

3.    Set goals. Commit to something meaningful. Find a way to start something that you have always wanted to do.

e.g of goals you can set: Fitness goals, Financial Goals, Debt-Freeness Goals, Spiritual Goals, Personal Development Goals.

As I mentioned, I set a weight loss goal. In addition to going to the gym, I started a diet too. I really wanted to sculpt my body because I had been used to being a particular size all my life but when my life became stressful from working long hours and late-night eating, I gained more weight than I could carry confidently. That affected my level of confidence, so I decided to change it.

I love food, but I committed to the discipline of portion control, a protein diet, vegetable diet and eating fruits every day. My body constantly thanks me for this decision I made.

I set spiritual goals too. To read my Bible every morning, listen to a message every day and read a chapter in Proverbs each day of the month because there are 31 chapters in Proverbs. I also drew a 100-hour prayer bomb with a goal of praying at least one hour every day. Some days, I am barely able to pray beyond 30 minutes, but it is a goal I am committed to, so the Lord is giving me grace to achieve it.

I was in the middle of trying to be financially stable before the heartbreak occurred, so I focused on that as well. I drew a detailed plan of what my expenditure was going to be, going forward. I paid up my debts and started an investment. I can’t disclose how much I have in my savings now but it’s an amount that brings me happiness. The joy of knowing that I worked to save up that money cannot be stolen from me by anybody.

If you don’t have a good job and you know you can find one, start applying today! if you have a decent job, but are in debt, try and clear up your debts and start saving. 

I also picked up my blog in this period. There are days I don’t feel like writing but I remind myself that I need to do this for myself.

Start your own business if you can. Write your book. Polish up your speaking skills. Launch that online business.  

The End.

Head to the next and last post of this heartbreak series How To Get Over Him and Move On (5)

      I have summarised all that I have shared here with a few extra tips!