How to Get Over Him and Move On

If you are as curious as I am, and you own a smartphone with access to internet, then it is likely that you tend to google almost everything! One glance at my google search history and you will see a string of "how to...., what is...., why is...."  

My default response to anything I don't know has always been to run a quick search on the internet. By anything, I mean anything. 

How to lose 20kg in a week without starving.

How to make pasta salad without mayonnaise. How to diet without dieting.

Why are my lips itching after eating veggies. How to meditate.

Why is my little toe hurting, unprovoked?

How to fall asleep within 10 minutes without medication. What is the best time to take Vitamin C?

How not to fall for the wrong person.

How to choose a present for my boss. How to look like you know what you are about. How to still look classy when you trip and fall in public.

Why are some humans still alive???

How to be graceful. 

You get the picture, don't you? 

I must have become a tad too reliant on google, because I also begun to google a lot of Christian things. Things that maybe, I should have been searching first in the bible. I had told myself the lie that although the bible is said to be the manual for life and that it contains everything a Christian needs to live, it does not seem to have answers to some practical situations in life. You know, like how long will you grieve when your friend dies? What do you do practically to let the pain go? How do you know for sure that this is the man or woman you should marry? etc.

Well, one day I decided that whenever I was unsure of anything in my life, I will turn first to the Bible. I practiced it for two days and forgot. Until my heart got broken. 

Christian ladies, particularly, have a way of drawing closer to God when our hearts are broken. Case in point? Me. And it is funny, because my friends used to teased me a lot. They said I did not have a heart since I was the one always breaking hearts. 

Personally, I feel that I got away living for 25 years without a broken heart because my heart had been broken several times as a child, by the people who were supposed to protect me. (I will delve into this in other post, when I talk about physical/sexual abuse and how to recover from the post-traumatic stress disorder. A lot of you are suffering from this and you don't even know it. Trauma is real, but it is hushed in our part of the world)

I digress.

I took my phone, as was my custom and googled "how to deal with a heart break when you were not even in a relationship" Yes. Situationship heartbreak sort of hurts way more than heartbreaks from a real relationship. You may have experienced one or two of this in your life. 

Google returned a bunch of responses and advice. Confession: I tried out a few. Result? My heart still ached. Nothing seemed to take the pain away. Well, some articles said time will heal it. But if you have truly been heartbroken before, you'd know that is not what I wanted to hear. 

After a few days of bombarding my phone with questions, I realized that what I really wanted to read were articles from people who loved God and had a strong relationship with Him. So I began to include "Christian" in my searches. 

I found a FEW helpful articles. But I also wanted one that addressed the circumstances surrounding my experience. To be fair, my situation was quite atypical, in terms of finding how many Christian girls out of 10 fancied the kind of person I did, at the time I did and with all the variables in the mix. 

It turns out that there were some questions that google could not answer for me. I needed answers to specific questions that no man could answer. That is when I figured I should be talking more to God. 

Then I had a lightbulb moment. Since I could not find the help I wanted, I would try to be the solution to anyone who would find themselves in this situation next year, or the one after and so on. I had resolved to place God at the centre of my journey to recovery. I could share my journey with practical examples - the good, bad, hilarious, and ugly. That way, someone else could benefit in the future. 

So this is what this blog post is about, really. You won't find perfect answers or a short cut here. But you will find the emotions, curiosity, prayers, wishes, hopes, pain, joy, and faith of a young woman recovering from a heart break. One who desperately wants what God wants for her. 

I will share my journey in 5 parts. I pray you find some healing if you are currently going through a heartbreak or terrible loss.

Read Part 2 here How to get over him and move on (2)